Writing

A Comedy of Errors

Gather round, because I’m going to tell you a story. This story is exceptionally delicious; it has so many different layers to enjoy. It is a story that intrinsically tells so many other stories, stories of man’s folly and of art and of human behaviour and of municipal decision-making. Bear with me. From where I work it is a short walk to Potsdamer Platz, a strange, lifeless arena of enormous and heavily-architected office buildings and shopping centers. It was intended as a gleaming modern hub for the city where locals and tourists could come to work, eat, shop, and enjoy...

An early draft of my upcoming PhD thesis

Working Title: A Comparative Sociopolitical Analysis of Crisp (Potato Chip) Culture and Flavours in Germany and Great Britain Around Christmas I spent almost three weeks in the UK. Three weeks is a short time, and yet in that time I consumed more crisps than I usually do over the span of several calendar months, if not years. Brits love crisps more than we love our mums; we love crisps more than the royal family, more than complaining about traffic, more indeed than a really well-timed cup of tea. That last one was a joke OF COURSE THERE IS NOTHING WE...

An open letter to the people who designed the Android alarm app

Good afternoon. I say ‘Good afternoon’ because I get the sense that you lot are not the kind of people who are used to getting up early. Back in olden times, people used to use things like alarm clock radios or Teasmades or even those ones with the bells on top to make sure they would wake up early in the morning in time to get ready for work and feed the chickens, or whatever it was they needed to do which was counter to their innate biological instincts. But things have changed, and now almost everyone uses the alarm...

A central heating meter perched on a fire escape sign

The straw that broke the camel’s back

Look. You don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be here, but the problem is that there is still so much I have to tell you. In fact, for every thing I talk about a dozen new things happen that I also have to talk about and so there’s this enormous backlog now, you see. Like my pile of unsorted tax documents, I have been putting it off for so long, but recently I had a day where so many things – baffling, unbelievable things – happened in such a short space of time that it was frankly...